To Jan, Chris, Pat, Megan, Andrew, Brandon, Carson and the four littles. Forgive my audacity to include myself in your membership club of painfully grieving for Don Payer. I count myself unimaginably blessed to have known, loved, and be loved by Don for the better part of 34 years, until his memory left little room for more than Jan, his soulmate of 66 years. Don was the answer to my dad’s fervent prayer to the Holy Spirit to protect me as I embarked upon a journey that would put me on many planes, and end up sitting next to Don and Jan on that last leg into Des Moines on January 5, 1986. He had me at hello, literally. That began a decades-long relationship that was faithful as much as it was guiding, loving and joyful. I looked forward to Sunday breakfasts at ISU together with Don’s dad. Don’s unmitigated love of God and actionable love for his “neighbors” taught me by example. His affable nature, love of walking, distrust of any unrecognizable food, virtual whiskies with my dad in Malaysia on their respective birthdays…all these made him so beloved to me and my growing family. The times I would put Asian food in front of him and he would squint and ask, what is that? Precious! My kids have memories of him (and Jan) sitting on the floor playing board games together, and they still use “top of the morning” as a greeting. Don and Jan never missed a graduation of mine. I could go on, but suffice it to say that my sorrowful and tearful heart has been in Ames since we lost Don and I will miss and love him always. Rest in peace, my dad-by-love.
Aileen Sebastian
- mournful in the Netherlands -
